Why the hell are some people such fucktards? I cannot deal with the amount of idiots playing Battlefield like it’s CoD. Put away your fucking sniper rifle, get the fuck off of your camping stool and go and play the fucking objective. 

While you’re up there, planting M-Coms or capping flags, learn to use your class. Drop a medkit, drop supplies, plant mines, plant a spawn point, spot targets, use smoke grenades, suppress with your LMG, flank with your shotgun, lase targets with the SOFLAM. It’s not that hard, for the love of god.

Everyone is too obsessed with getting a high amount of kills/points and not supporting their team. What every single one of these fucknuggets fails to realise is that by playing your classes strengths, you get max points; not by worrying about your fucking KDR. 

I predominantly play support and I play it damn well. I drop a supply box, I plant claymores, deny tanks access to areas with C4 and I lock down areas like a fucking boss. Seriously, you feel brave enough to wade through 600 rounds per minute from an M60? Thought not, and guess where I place? Top, regularly at the top because I couldn’t give a fuck about my KDR. I’m gonna smoke and sprint to plant that M-Com, I’m gonna set up my bi-pod in that B flag alleyway and deny access, I’m gonna suppress the fuck out of your snipers in the vain hope that someone on my team is smart enough to flank them. This adds up to a lot of points for me, a loss of tickets for them and an overall victory for my team…granted they’re not idiotic inbreds. Unfortunately most of them are. 

So put away your camping stool, take your 12x scope off, get rid of your M26 Dart, don’t sit behind a wall pissing yourself after I’ve just cleared an area, moved up and taken ground only to be killed again by 5 bad guys because you were too busy pissing yourself behind a wall, terrified that your already poor (10-2 is shit, don’t kid yourself) KDR might get ruined. It’s ok bro, I’ll revive you. 

Play the fucking objective, fuck your KDR, play for the team, not yourself.

…2 spawn beacons in our spawn zone? Really squadmates? You understand we spawn in our spawn zone right? What’s that? I can’t hear your screams for mercy under the sounds of me killing you…fucktards. 

Sometimes it’s worth getting kicked. 

…and that makes me a loser? You’re in on a Friday playing videogames as well bro and you also feel it’s necessary to write me a big arsed message as to why I’m a loser? It’s cute you need to justify your existence and obvious dominance over every other gamer ‘DiTchy’ but for now, I’ll do what the fuck I want without having to answer to your basement dwelling arse. 

…does anyone else have a problem with them? I was banned from a server for getting MVP 3 times in a row. It’s not my fault you’re a whining little fuck nugget, learn to play better or switch me to your team if you’re that annoyed with me taking your dogtags. 

…where the fuck is my expansion pack DICE?

…why almost every time I’m MVP, my Xbox decides to freeze, denying me my precious precious points and ribbons?

Seriously! Every time it’s me that’s killed by the admin to ‘balance the teams’. Fuck off, stop ruining my win ratio, I don’t deserve to be stuck with herp derp idiots and their inability to co-ordinate. 

…I forgot what fucknuggets people are, I requested ammo 3 times with the back button, yelled at him through my headset for about a minute, ended up shooting him once with the last round in my pistol. Silly bastard emptied his entire box mag into me and as soon as that *CLACK* rings out, bad guy walks around the corner and pops both of us with a magnum. 

Cunt. 

…within 10 minutes I remembered why. First game I shot to the top of the scoreboard within about 2 minutes, bearing in mind this was a 1000 ticket game and I joined when both teams were below 500. Second game we were spawn trapped in Metro and fuck knows how but the top 3 guys on the enemy team were just strolling around in our base, immune to the effects of being in the enemy spawn.

To summarise, no refunds is a bitch.